Families

Families are funny and …

I don’t understand them. This includes my own family but especially Paul’s.  It’s not that they haven’t been pleasant because they have. But. I’m kinda used to being the outcast or the least daughter in law. I’m not Catholic, I’m too fat, etc. However, I have to say I’m somewhere between laughter and horror at my mother in law, tonight. She’s always said outrageous things to me and I’ve done my best to ignore her. A good example is when my brother in law, Connie (Archie) married Elaine about six years ago (God, time does fly) my mother in law said to me, “Well, she’s black but she’s slender and has a nice figure so I guess that’s alright.”  I could only speculate she felt black beats fat (me being fat). I was really afraid to dig any further for meaning and in this instance I’ve laughed about it for six years. After 26 years of marriage I either stay away or ignore her. There’s really no in between.

For the last couple of days I seem to be the daughter in law she confides in. As soon as one of the others leave the room she complains to me about them. She doesn’t like what they say or they make her nervous, etc. I’m doing my best to stay neutral and not  saying much beyond really? why do you think that? I’m sorry or what do you want to do about that or just nodding my head in agreement to whatever she’s saying. As we were driving away tonight I wondered to my daughter, Tracey, what she would be saying about us. She’s old, about 86 or 87 so she gets some slack. I just keep thinking, does she know who I am? It’s kind of nice not being on the receiving end of one of her remarks, me or Paul. I can’t help myself, I keep talking him up, about how wonderful he is, etc.  He keeps giving me these looks that ask, “Are you the same wife who called me an ass, last night?” Lol. But I do think alot of him and I want them to as well. Although why it should matter I don’t know but it does. I suppose everyone wants their family to think well of them.

Well, this puppy, Little Bear/Truck/Chevy/Gunner  is finally asleep and I’m ready as well.

Night.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ruth Baker
    Jan 05, 2010 @ 22:39:41

    Honey I totally understand. I lived it myself while I was a McGill it is one strange family but then all families have their strangeness don’t they. I am so glad in a way Howard’s kids and grandchildren are pretty darn normal from my perspective. His ex-wife can be a pistol but only with him. I love my new inlaws they are truely family something it was hard to feel in the McGill Family. I was and still am sisters with you, and I loved Donna she always accepted me and the choices I made even after I left her brother. And you totally have there for me from the time you married Paul. The fact is that Paul accepted me leaving his brother too and we’ve enjoyed your company with my new husband Howard these 8 years.

    Mae well she is just odd but dispite her weird ways she still wants and needs you and me too it seems. And we are the outsiders who came into her family. Give Paul and the girls a big hug for me. Love you all.

    Your Ex-sister-in-law

    Ruth

    Reply

  2. curiocat
    Jan 05, 2010 @ 23:10:45

    Hey, what’s normal? Lol. I wouldn’t know it if it smacked me in the face.

    I have felt the lack of family all my life. You and I have discussed this so while I believe in loyalty to your family no matter what, I also can’t afford to lose a heart sister. You’ve always been that even when we’ve disagreed. Sorry, we’re not giving you up. We’ll love you, Butch, Connie, Elaine and whoever and everyone will just have to work it out the best they can.

    As for Mae, well she can’t afford to be choosy about love either. She’s softened some these last years. It’s not a bad thing even if it’s because of age.

    No exes.

    Love you, Sis.

    Reply

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