Fat Tuesday: Comme ci, Comme ça

I made it through last week without eating sugary dessert items but there was some compulsive eating so I can’t call it an unqualified success.  Chips and the like need to be added to my list of no-no items.

However I am happy to report weight has been lost. Yayyy! About ten pounds which puts me at almost what my weight was before Christmas. I have several more pounds to go but I am pleased about this progress.

My friend Gail, and Holly’s mom-in-law, sent me this email:

Love  this Doctor!
l
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true? 

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A:  Oh no.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? 

A: Can’t think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy: No pain…good!

Q:  Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food fried in vegetable oil.  How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q
  :  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? 
A:  Oh no!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?  

A:  You crazy?!?  HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?  

A:  If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?  

A:  Hey!  ‘Round’ is shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And  remember:  
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

AND…..

For  those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health.  It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans…

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:  Eat and drink what you like.   Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

 

Man I wish he were a real doctor and the above was true. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Goals haven’t changed from last week.

Reason for staying off sugar and changing lifestyle this week: Sugar ages you. No need to help Mother Nature out, she does the job just fine on her own.

Peace.

Do you have any diet jokes you’d like to share?

 

 

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Shellie Sakai
    Jun 26, 2012 @ 21:44:34

    Angela! Love that Doctor! And hooray for you and the ten pounds gone! I am so proud of you. Me, I got sabatoged. Hubby made chocolate pound cake for dessert on sunday. I was trying to yell at him while I stuffed my mouth! 🙂 HUGS!

    Reply

    • Angela/Curiocat
      Jun 29, 2012 @ 15:00:33

      Lol. I’m returning that hug. Thanks for the encouragement. I can see how chocolate pound cake might be hard to resist.

      Wow, your husband cooks? That’s awesome. Talk him into finding and making some delish sugar free desserts for you.

      Reply

  2. Trackback: Fat Tuesday: Comme ci, Comme ça « Curiocat is… Angela McGill | Your Halloween Costume

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