Fat Tuesday: This Woman is A Duff? A Bit Of A Rant

Really?! All it takes for anyone to know Americans have serious body image issues is to hear men interviewed by The Five’s Andrea Tarantino describe Kate Upton as a duff. Duff is a new term I just learned and it means designated ugly fat friend.  Nice (sarcasm here). Hearing crap like that just makes me cranky. I only wish I was so fat.

During the same segment it was mentioned there are web sites dedicated to help women become anorexic, called pro anorexia sites. One of these sites slammed Kate Upton for being 30 pounds overweight making the subject a hot topic in the last week or so.  Read more here.

Update: Since I first wrote this post, the pro anorexia blog has walked their comments back some. Kate Upton has also came out and said I like who I am and I not making myself miserable by not eating. You go, Kate!

The pro anorexia site is obscene but their skewed viewpoint makes sense coming from where it does. What I don’t get is the two random men in NYC agreeing they thought Kate Upton is too fat. It makes me wonder about the women in these men’s lives. Do they starve and harm their bodies to be just the right size for these guys? What they ought to say is kiss my big fat…duff. Lol. I have to wonder why we do these things to ourselves.

Do women base our body image too much on what some men or even other women think or want? Or maybe it’s the photo shopping of celebs that cause the problems with body image. This is going to sound naive but I really thought Kate Middleton’s waist was that tiny or some of these women who just had babies looked like they hadn’t even been pregnant on the cover of People or other magazines two weeks out. Recent articles have outed these photos but how much harm has been done over the years and still does? More here and here.

Someone, somewhere, decided that America could not accept what real man or women look like. Worse, we let them decide for us. Women are by far judged on their appearance than men although I do believe men are beginning to get the same scrutiny.

I’m no anthropologist but it seems to me our culture has become a bit off kilter. Take writing for instance. Writers are told to have their character’s features and personality as flawed so they’ll be interesting but we do not want those same flaws to show in our celebs or ourselves.  There’s something wrong with us that we can no longer accept imperfection in the real world but find it acceptable  in our art or fantasies (or at least some of our art). It seems to indicate an inability to cope with reality on our part, doesn’t it? I don’t know about you but that kinda scares me.

The photos on and in those magazines are generic in looks and poses.  Oh, you might get the occasional tat, piercing or pink spiky hair but underneath the body art there lurks the same perfect blandness.  We have become a nation of cardboard cutouts in many ways. I keep thinking of that old Twilight Zone episode, Number 12 Looks Just Like You, where a young woman is forced to have surgery to make her look beautiful like everyone else. She just wanted to be herself. Sometimes I feel a bit paranoid the writer of that episode was a little too prescient in many ways.

I’m at the point in my life all I want is to hang around a bit longer and feel good while I do it.  Each person should be true to themselves and decide on what lifestyle best suits his or her own needs. Not by some cookie cutter model, tv or film star whose strings are being pulled by some godlike wannabe puppet master or whoever else wants  you to fit into their idea of perfection that looks just like everyone else.

No weight loss this week. I’m just holding my own at this point for which I’m grateful although I would like that freaking needle to move a little to the left eventually. Ahem. Please? 🙂



4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Texanne
    Jul 18, 2012 @ 12:53:12

    Well, Angela, you have hit a big nail on the head. (If you raised a lump, no worries–they’ll brush that out before they print the photo.)

    Story: A young woman I knew well (who was a total dish) had developed a terrible hatred for her full breasts and hips because her husband hated her shape. It was only after her divorce that she found a shoebox full of photos of her husband–with his true lover, another man. Of course he hated her womanly shape, because the only shape he could honestly be attracted to was another man’s shape!

    Put this together with the fact that most women’s clothes are designed by men–frequently men who can’t find womanly shapes beautiful, and you’re looking at trouble for women who want to be fashionable. There are other reasons for designers not liking curves, too–curves interfere with the “hang” of a garment. The only way for a woman to fulfill (haha!) the requirements of “fashion” is to be more of a hangar and less of a moving, thinking, person.

    Flash forward to the transgendered person who made it to the finals of a world-wide beauty contest lately. Everyone was up in arms about whether the rules of the contest should allow the transgendered to participate. Rules, schmules! The real story here is that a tall, skinny male skeleton was deemed to be the epitome of female beauty! Say, what?

    And in Japan, there’s a girl singing group that’s made up partially, if not entirely, of computer-generated girls, images created by compositing the chin of one girl, the nose of another, and so forth.

    In other words: real women need not apply.

    This is a job for Feel Never Thinks, you know.

    Good for you for putting your health first. I hope the needle does the needed thing, but don’t let Perfect keep you from enjoying life to the biggest, fullest, richest! :)TX


    • curiocat
      Aug 14, 2012 @ 23:45:42

      Good grief, what a story! That poor young lady, it sounds like she had an extremely painful experience then had insult added to injury by finding out he was playing in a different league all together. He really should be ashamed of himself. I hope the young woman was able to recover her self image or is working on it.

      I heard about that beauty contest. I couldn’t even believe we were having the conversation. It just goes back to what I was saying about cardboard cutouts. We can no longer be men or women but androgynous in our appearance and activities. What is wrong with having beauty contests for just women who look like real women?

      One other thing neither of us mentioned is the camera or rather the images the camera takes that adds poundage. Women (not men, men are allowed to be fat although that might be changing) have to be thin on camera because of the “added” ten pounds. I wonder why some of those women haven’t been buried yet because they are so thin. They’ve got to skeletons in real life.

      As far as weight goes I fell off the wagon big time the last two weeks. A lot has been going on and I’ve been depressed. When I get myself back together I’ll try again.


  2. Zeyana
    Aug 13, 2012 @ 09:36:56

    Well spoken, Angela.
    People nowadays have gone too far defining what a person should look like, up to the point where they are ready to change the way we do by photoshopping and plastic surgery. Most of us are self conscious, because everyone has different taste on what is beauty (that they deem is right) and you’ll always find another person’s opinion that clashes with ours. You cannot make everyone happy, because then that’s more than 9 billion people to satisfy. It’s hard because when we see all this definitions of beauty and ours never seems to quite fit, we feel the need to change it so we are more accepted. But the first step to acceptance is accepting yourself. I myself was really self conscious and worried that I wasn’t beautiful but I realized that no matter how hard I tried I could not please everyone, so why not just please myself by accepting myself as I am. It makes life a lot less heavier when you realize that you need not live for anybody else but yourself.


    • curiocat
      Aug 15, 2012 @ 00:03:38

      Thanks Zeyana and thanks for coming by.

      Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, something that has been contemplated since the beginning of time. We seem to be deciding as a culture that this is no longer true. That we must all agree on how beauty is defined and alter ourselves to fit that vision or else we are somehow antisocial. Scary.

      It’s true. You can’t please everyone and it’s best not to try because that path leads to dark, twisty places difficult to leave. But saying it and doing it are two different things. Myself, I’m a work in progress and probably always will be but it’s a worthy goal (I think).


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