Fat Tuesday: Let’s Try This Again

I made it through to the seventh day. Wednesday I fought off the cravings for something sweet all day. Thursday was actually a pretty good day. Friday I braced myself for the worst because I went grocery shopping. To keep from buying inappropriate ‘junk’ foods for a quick fix I made sure I ate a decent meal before I went into the combat zone.

Do you realize how grocery stores, drug stores, dollar stores, retail stores and convenience stores are set up? If you have the slightest pang of hunger, a niggle for something to munch, the slightest weakening of will they have made it easy for temptation to overcome your better judgement.

From the minute you walk in the store you are surrounded by displays of snacks of all sizes, shapes and tastes. Even the bakery is right there beside the produce section. Before you can leave the store you have to stand in line with candy and other munchies within reaching distance. I felt like whimpering the entire time. The odds are really stacked against anyone succeeding for long on a diet. But I was strong and made it through the several hours it took me to shop.

I taped The Five and watched it when I came home. I couldn’t believe it. Even they were conspiring against me with Bob Beckel munching on a plate of donuts in defiance of Mayor Bloomberg in N.Y. Honestly Bob? Take it from me, you’re just cutting your nose off to spite your face. Bloomberg really doesn’t care.

Fortunately, Bob didn’t tempt me with his donuts. Then Saturday came. It was a rough day for a lot of reasons. We’ll just leave it at that. I went through all the recommended diversions. I gave it about two hours before caving. I really wanted to run to the store for some chocolate but I did manage to resist that particular urge.

I made some peanut butter junkie instead. Does it make a difference if I said the sugar is a natural pure cane sugar and not the white kind? Or the peanut butter is Skippy Natural Super Chunk? That I used Brummel and Brown’s yogurt butter and pure vanilla? Probably not, but I did try to keep the damage to a minimum.

As of today, once again, I’m at two days with no sugar. It’s not been too hard this time. For one, the peanut butter junkie wasn’t all that great, it just didn’t taste good this time for whatever reason. Sunday was a good day in spite of my slip up and I got a lot done.  For two I woke up sick on Monday and I’m still not doing that great so no cravings except for sleep.

Now the good news. I lost five pounds anyway as of today. Yay! Part of it is probably water weight but I’ll take it. The urge to weigh myself again has been with me all day but so far I’ve resisted that, too.

Excuse for last week’s screw up: I wanted comfort food.

In my refrigerator now: 2% low-fat milk, yellow squash, strawberries, oranges, apricots, apples, 2% low-fat cheese, salad, salad dressing, condiments, low sugar grape jelly, cream cheese, lemonade, Brummel & Brown yogurt butter, all natural eggs, Yoplait light yogurts of different varieties, 4% low-fat cottage cheese, a loaf of sourdough bread, bread sticks, turkey meat for meat loaf, lemon juice, tomatoes, celery, a cucumber, sparkling grape juice, oj, shredded cheddar cheese, left over broccoli casserole, lizard food(including grasshoppers and mill worms) and carrots. I think that’s it.

This week’s reason for getting in better shape: Not being able to close my mouth is a stupid reason to die too soon.

Goal for this coming week: It’s going to be a challenge but again it’s to stay off the sugary things like candy bars, cakes, etc., because I am travelling to Maryland this week. Travel is another excuse I have for eating things bad for me. Also, I planned to exercise some this week but got foiled with being sick. I’ll see what I can do in Maryland.

So what have you been tempted with lately? How’s your will power? Do you have any weekly goals? What do you think of Bob Beckel? Be nice, lol.

Peace.

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Fat Tuesday: Never-End

Most everyone has certain truths they acknowledge if not out loud then in their deepest, darkest of hearts for maybe a second or so.  Here are two of mine: tomorrow never comes and I can’t keep my mouth shut.

All my life I’ve dreamed of being skinny.  As a girl I kept thinking tomorrow I’ll start a diet then in a few months I’ll get to wear those cool new styles out this year. Nope. There was always a reason the diet wasn’t started: I was feeling bad, it was Wednesday and it needed to start on Monday to start the week right, or maybe a holiday was coming up so I wanted to wait until it was over. You know, nonsense like that.

Sometimes I did start the diet and I did lose weight. But after a while I burned out by doing stupid stuff like weighing myself several times a day. The worst part was when I became convinced I wasn’t going to eat ‘normal’ like everyone else again.  Long horrifying years flashed before my eyes. Depression set in. It is not surprising why I got discouraged only weeks into a diet.

One thing I will say is I did get to wear some cool clothes. The only problem was I didn’t enjoy them because I was too self-conscious. I didn’t think I was thin enough or at least I wasn’t in my mind. Looking back at old pictures I wonder what was wrong with me. I was fine. Today I’d be thrilled to be that size again.

Over the years I’ve missed doing things with my kids, trips to the beach, to carnivals and amusement parks, skiing, travelling, buying clothes, swimming and all kinds of things because…well, because I can’t keep my mouth closed. The reasons I find to eat are legion.

I eat because I’m happy, sad, it’s a holiday, I’m mad, it’s not a holiday, to celebrate, just because, because I’m going on a diet, because I’ve lost weight, to punish myself, to punish someone else (don’t say it cause I know), I’m hungry, stressed, nervous, bored, excited, I have a craving, I’m mad, I’m worried, I’m in pain, I’m sick and I could go on. You get the picture I’m sure.

For someone like myself it is and will always be a never-ending battle to lose weight and keep it off. I’ve been this size for a long time now, nearly thirty years. Several years ago I lost over fifty pounds only to put it back on. What has my scales groaning in protest now? I’m out of control. Since January I have gained another ten pounds.  I really, really don’t need to gain any more weight.

Last week I ate cake…the whole thing by myself. Now granted it wasn’t a big cake, just a round one layer. But still who does that? For sure healthy people don’t. A whole bag of peppermint patties was eaten in one sitting not two days later. This doesn’t count the crap in between. Even after eating all that I was still craving the stuff. I’m an addict to sugar and the products it is used in.

The peppermint patty bag along with other candy wrappers are still in the trash can beside my desk but no others have joined them since Friday. That’s how many days? Two. Don’t misunderstand me. If candy had come my way I would have ate it. It’s only by accident I haven’t. Holly brought me some fudge from the beach but forgot to give it to me; she took it home to Maryland instead.

I’ve craved sugar all day dreaming of peanut butter junky and cream filled chocolate chip cookies. But you know something? Writing this blog has helped. I’m going to make it through today, too. Thanks for the help.

Giving up sugar altogether is seriously unrealistic. The plan for now is keeping the sugar to a minimum; special occasions or even having only a single serving is the goal. Moderation is what I’m aiming for. Weight loss will come, I hope.

Tuesdays are the days I want to document my struggle with this disease, mental issue, no self-control/discipline, addiction or whatever you choose to call it. It’s a problem for me whatever the name. While I don’t expect to cure it, I would like to control it. Just that much would be nice. In fact it would be excellent.

This week’s reason to lose weight: My feet and legs are hurting worse. They have hurt for a long time now but I suspect this recent weight gain may have added some pain.

Things in my refrigerator: 2% low-fat milk, yogurt butter, 2% low-fat cheese, a carton of strawberries, a bag of carrots, all natural eggs, honey-roasted turkey lunch meat, Welch’s Sparkling grape juice, orange juice, baking soda, condiments, premium romaine salad mix, several Yoplait light yogurts of different varieties, 4% cottage cheese, apples, celery, a cucumber. There’s a few more things along those lines but I can’t remember what they are.

Do you have a weight problem? Are you doing anything to control it? What kind of diets have you tried? What is your favorite food or dessert? What’s in your refrigerator? Did you think I was going to talk about Mardi Gras? Sorry, but the title sort of fits given the subject, doesn’t it?

 

Peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Versatile: That’s Me

First I have a huge ‘Thank you’ that goes to Sandy for giving me this virtual award. It really tickles me especially since I haven’t been a regular blogger in a while.

Next I have to apologize for the delay in response. I was in Maryland with Holly for nearly a week. I’m just now catching up on stuff.

Sandy’s blog is called Bibliophage’s Buffet. As you can tell from the title this blog is about books, specifically reviewing them. Check it out. I’m not only reading her blog but I’m adding her to my links, too.

When accepting this award there are responsibilities. What comes around, must go around.

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